I can not make this up. I just posted my pervious post were I talked about getting that phone call saying they are graduating. Well I wasn’t expecting it until next weekend… but I just got it. He just called!!!! And Im a totally mess. I can’t stop crying. Every time I think about he voice and talking with him I start tearing up. It was so good. Just like I predicted, we didn’t know what to say to each other lol but we got in the most important things, “I miss you”, “Im graduating”, “We’re selling the house”. I honestly don’t even think we said “I love you” now that I’m replaying the 4 minutes haha. But I don’t think it even needed to be said. He started getting emotional which made me emotional right away. Hearing his laugh and tone was amazing. Goodness I miss that man!
I don’t have any videos or recordings of him to watch or listen to so it truly had been 10 weeks since I heard his voice. As much as I hate to admit it, it voice was starting to fade from my memory. Hearing his voice was honestly overwhelming. I was literally shaking from excitement. He sounded just like the man I kissed goodbye. Im sure he’s changed a lot in many ways but hearing him sound the same brought so much comfort.
Those 4 minutes flew by and the second we hung up I bursted into tears. Like sobbing crying tears. You would have thought I was in great pain. I cried like that for a long time. Longer than I expected. I would stop, thinking I was done, then Id think about the call and just start all over. I cried with my whole body. Tears, snot, the whole 9 yards. I haven’t cried like that since the early weeks when he first left. I don’t think Ive cried in weeks but it all came out just now. I think everything was mixed in. All my emotions from the past few months and all excitement about seeing him soon. I think there was also a lot of relief too. HE GRADUATING!!!
Of course now all these questions I should have asked are coming to mind and I feel like a dodo for not asking them but whatever. I was overwhelmed and too excited. Plus, I’ll be seeing him next week. Not even that big of a deal. Most important thing is that he’s graduating and that he’s good. They still have the 3 day filed training and 16k ruck march but people must not really fail those things if they are letting them call now confirming their graduation. Oh my goodness. Im on cloud 9. I can’t even think right. This is probably the most jumbled post ever but I need to tell someone!!!! I know already that Im too excited to sleep so Im not even going to try till I calm down some more. I just keep thinking about his voice. It sounded so beautiful.
As Im processing everything, I think some of my tears were also from hearing him say he misses me. Its one thing to know it and to read it in letter but 10 weeks of silence from the one you love most is rough and theres a lot of space for fear or doubts to sneak in. But hearing him say he misses me and for him to use his one phone call on me, that means everything to me. I think I also had gotten good at just pushing aside the pain of missing him. I just didn’t think about it and bottled it up but after getting that call and talking to him, I couldn’t run from that pain any more. It HURT to hang up. Sooo much. I couldn’t deny to myself any more just how much I missed him but at the exact same moment I was overwhelmed with happiness. Happy and grateful for the few minutes I did get to talk with him and also happy that I would be seeing him next week. It truly was a mess of emotions, like nothing Ive ever experienced before but overall, joy, happiness and excitement were the main emotions.
He called well over an hour ago and my heart is STILL racing. Goodness I love that man. What a night. I am so relieved I didn’t miss that call or was in the shower or driving or something when it happened. 10 more days till he’s all mine… for 2 days at least 🙂