Processing Mixed Emotions

We close on the house in 8 days and its hitting me kind of hard. Much harder than I expected actually. I was expecting it to be tough. It was our first home and I love all the memories we’ve made in it. What I did not expect were the added emotions of having to say goodbye to the house and this chapter of our lives without him.

My emotions ranged from deep sadness to uncontainable excitement and its hard not having him here to go through them with. He absolutely shares many of my emotions but at the same time, he is somewhat removed. He was not able to be involved in any of the negations, inspections or other processes involved in selling. He never signed any of the contracts or had contact with the realtor. As I think more and more about it, I’m realizing just how hard it must be for him to close this chapter with little to no say in. from far away. The same struggles I have by being so close, he has with being so removed. Like packing, its been hard for me to pack up the house by myself and its been hard for him not to be able to help.

Its definitely not how we pictured things. I never imagined I’d sell a house without him but I am so grateful that I was able to . Its sad and scary to change our entire lives like this. This house was our pride and joy. To be homeowners at 22 and 23 has been one of our biggest accomplishments and defiantly one we are beyond proud of. This wasn’t just a house, this was a home. At the same time, I am so grateful that we had the experience of being homeowners. We learned A LOT of big life lessons. We now know things that are important to us in a home, red flags to look out for when buy and how to upkeep a house. As sad as I am to say goodbye, I wouldn’t change it for the world. I also am beyond excited to start this next chapter together.

I’m learning that one chapter will always be ending and another starting. I’m also learning that its ok to be sad! Sadness does not mean that you’re not excited for whats next, it just means that you enjoyed the past. I’m grateful to have had a chapter thats so hard to close but I’m even more grateful to have a new exciting chapter starting.

So long homeownership, hello whatevers to come next.

 

 

 

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