Goodness, I’m a teary mess tonight.
Its been a really rough weekend both physically and emotionally. Started off the weekend with news that closing will be delayed. Apparently the buyers lender couldn’t get all required paperwork done in the necessary time to close this Wednesday. So now we’re in limbo waiting for a new closing date. Its frustrating to be all set and mentally prepared to close only to get it pushed back. And not having a new date to start prepping for and looking forward to just adds. This house is such a heavy weight on me and so beyond ready just to get it over and done with now.
Despite closing getting delayed, I still had to move all our stuff out this weekend and that was TOUGH! We packed up everything that could do in boxes last week so all that was left was furniture. It didn’t look to be a lot of stuff but oh how we were wrong. We started loading at 9am Saturday and worked our butts off all freaking day. It didn’t help that everyone who said they would help all flaked so it was literally just me, my parents (who are 55 and 62) and his parents (both almost 50). So already that had be a little irritated. Despite working all day Saturday, we had to go back today to finish. All 5 of us were beat and beyond exhausted. We moved everything into a storage unit. I am NEVER doing a DITY move. We will ALWAYS have the military move us. I don’t even care about the money we could make if we did it ourselves. After this past weekend, its just not worth it.
As we emptied out each room, emotions started to hit. Memory after memory kept coming to mind and I started missing him more than ever. Saying goodbye to the house today without him was so much harder than I expected. And I managed to push down all those emotions… until now. The minute I played down and closed my eyes, I just started crying. Its the first time in over a month I’ve cried. Guys, I miss him so much and would give almost anything to have him here.
On top of everything going on with the house and moving, our one year anniversary is Thursday and thats just got me even more emotional. Its made worse by the fact that he still doesnt have visitor privileges yet so we’ll spend it apart and that just sucks. Ive been thinking about celebrating our one year well, for a year now haha and out of all my ideas, apart was not one of them. I know thats just a part of military life and that we’ll probably spend more holidays, birthdays and anniversaries a part than together but knowing that and living that out are two totally different things. Its hard and goodness to I wish he could be by my side.
I know that whenever we do get to see each other, we can celebrate then and that everything will be ok and that my emotions will calm down eventually. I know all of this but tonights a tough one.