Why I’m not moving home during deployment

No, I am not moving back home while he is deployed. Although I am sure both our families would prefer I did. I did consider it. We talked about that possibility a lot and he was supportive of me doing either. Ultimately, I came to the decision that me staying at our new duty station would be best. These were my reasons.

  • We have a lease that we can’t break for several months so if I did move home, we would still be paying for the apartment.
  • Even if we did somehow get out of our lease, I would have to find movers, a storage unit, get everything moved, find somewhere to store the cars. Then when he gets back, we would have to find an apartment, move and unpack all over again. Not about that.
  • Our new duty station is our home now, not where our families are. It is extremely uncomfortable being in a new everything. However, I do not want him coming back to yet another new apartment and packed boxes. I want to stay so I can continue to get settled in and established. When he does come back, I want him to come back to a home, our home. Our cozy, decorated, homey home.
  • I need and really want a job 😅. Yes if I move back home, I could go back and work with him family for awhile. But when he gets back, I’ll be in the exact position I am now, jobless, searching and frustrated. So instead, I would rather a short term sacrifice, for a long term gain. Getting a great job takes time. The clock has already started for me so why restart a process I don’t have to.
  • As much as I love home, I think I would go crazy. My parents and home are wonderful but ever since owning a home of my own and living with my husband, being home with them just isn’t the same. I have my own routines, systems and every now and then, I need some space!
  • I want to make him proud! I know he will be proud of me either way but part of embracing this life is thriving in the easy and tough times. This is definitely one of the tougher but I really want to grab the bull by the horns, learn our new city, discover awesome restaurants and neat little secrets and such to show him. I want to make the city mine so when he gets back we can make it ours.
  • I need to do this for myself. I can’t run home every time he deploys, I just can’t. As hard and tempting as it was, I did not when he left for BCT and AIT and I do not plan on starting now.

I know a lot of people move home during deployments for great reason but I truly believe me staying where we are is whats best for us. It will be tough but praying it is the right decision for us.

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21 thoughts on “Why I’m not moving home during deployment

  1. Way to push though! I’m sure this was a difficult decision but I really feel like you have a great perspective on the whole situation. Besides being pregnant while hubby was gone the 7 months this year, being on our own wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be. I made a few goals for myself and our marriage to work towards and accomplish while he was away. This helped pass the time and get me excited to share new experiences with him when he got back. More power to you ❤

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    1. Thank you so much! I really am taking your words to heart. It means so much coming from someone who has already been through what I am about to go through. Thats so incredible. I hope to soon be on the other side of this as well. That is such wonderful advise. I definitely well find crafts, hobbies, actives and goals to keep me busy. Thank you for reaching out! I am always excited to find people who have or are going through this as well.

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  2. I had the same thoughts, my husband leaves in a couple months and we discussed me going home, but ultimately our lives are where we are stationed and everything would be much more difficult if I went home while he is gone. I agree with you 1000% on the decision you made.

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    1. Thank you! Im soooo happy to hear that you made the same decision as well. A lot of family and friends are encouraging/wanting me to move home. Its a difficult decision for sure but I really think staying is whats best. Im looking forward to following you through your journey of staying as well!

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      1. I’ll definitely be blogging about it when the time does come! But yeah my husbands family wanted me to come home and be there while he’s away, but then after I explained my reasoning for staying they understood and we compromised. Lol I’m gonna just visit for a week in the middle of his deployment and then they are going to come see me for a week.

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  3. Six years in the US Army including a year in lovely Vietnam. For me, the real reason my wife did not move back home was the “I don’t want to deal with all the emotional traffic with relatives” reason. You really want to be the same loving spouse after each deployment with no gossip or complaints about people you are not married to. 😉

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    1. I think that is a wonderful and excellent reason. I only was home for three weeks but by the time it was time for me to head home, I was more than ready. And the emotional traffic was definitely one of the main reasons. I am so glad to know I am not the only one who made that decision not to go back home. Thank you so much for reaching out and for the advice. I really appreciate. Wishing the best to you and your family!

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  4. erinmaeve

    ‘ I want to make the city mine so when he gets back we can make it ours.’ Aaaah such a lovely thought! Definitley think you’ve made the right decision, keep reminding yourself of these things and enjoy what this new life chapter throws at you 🙂

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    1. Thank you so much!!! That means a lot to hear. Theres been a few times I have second guessed my decision but like you said, I just have to keep reminding myself that I made the right decision. And life sure is throwing a lot at us right now but its not all bad. Learning to enjoy and embrace the crazy. Thank your taking the time to read and leave such kind words!

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  5. I like the way you worded this post about going home while your husband is deployed; you would ‘go crazy’ and that isn’t good for you…I’m sure you are helping other military wives by testifying you are going for what is best for you and your family…helps them see it is possible to be tough and blessed at the same time…much care and prayer/lillyofthevalley.

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    1. Thank you so much. I am glad you enjoyed this piece. It was a decision that I definitely struggled with and even after making it, second guessed it. This deployment has truly tested me and staying home would have been so much easier but now being a few months in, I can honestly say that I am glad I made the decision that I did. It would make my heart so happy to know that I have helped others by sharing my experiences. That has been my hope from the day I started this blog. Thank you again for the encouragement!!!

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