His Shirt

No matter how long he’s been gone or how many months its been since he last wore it, theres still just something special about wearing one of his shirts. With him being gone most of last year for training then getting deployed just weeks after that, I am pretty sure I have worn his shirts more than he has. His smell no longer lingerings on the fabric like it use to but when I put it on, its like his arms are wrapped around me. I close my eyes and I can almost feel his touch.

I don’t wear his shirts every night. Instead, I save them for the special nights. Nights where I’m missing him so much it hurts, nights I wish I could celebrate with him, nights I wish I could fall asleep in his arms. I can’t wait for goodnight texts to be replaced with goodnight kisses. I live for that moment between falling asleep and being awake. It only last for a second but for that split second, right before I fall asleep, I forget he’s away and it feels as if he’s right there next to me drifting off to sleep too.

I am so ready for him to be home but every morning I wake up alone, I know it’s one day closer to having him back. But as for today, its definitely a “his shirt” kind of night.

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34 thoughts on “His Shirt

    1. Thank you for reaching out and being able to relate!!! That is exactly what it feels like. I do my best to stay busy and focus on other things but theres only so much you can do and it honestly just does not compare to when he is home. Slowly but surely we are getting closer to his homecoming.

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  1. It just struck me as I was reading your latest entry that are you going through something that is not so beautiful at the moment and yet you are choosing to see your life as “This Beautiful Life.” Making that choice to see life, no matter how messy it gets, as beautiful is so important. Mary Beth Chapman’s autobiographical book where she talks openly about the death of her adopted daughter Maria underscores this same healthy and spiritual perspective when she entitles her book “Choosing to See.” This is a great read, by the way, as long as you have the tissues handy. I started tearing up when I read the acknowledgements in front of the introductory sentence of chapter one, and I don’t think my eyes ever dried up – maybe, in part, because I also have an adopted daughter. I am also reminded here of one of my favorite movies, Life is Beautiful, not because the title is so similar to your own, but because the message this movie shares is so poignant.

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    1. Thank you so much for reading. It most definitely is a choice. I started and names this blog just over a year ago when life was pretty close to “perfect”. Little did I know that just a few months later, literally our entire world would change. I have been tempted to change my blogs name a few times but never can follow through with it. Because despite how crazy, messy, unpredictable life can be, theres still beauty. You just have to choose to see it, just like you said. I have not read that but it sounds like an amazing read and one that I will have to dive into! I love reading about people who choose to make the best and see the best.

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  2. I was in the Navy for a long time…and I understand deployments and extended separation. This is a wonderful tribute to your husband! Well written and well spoken!

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  3. I can’t even imagine how hard that is. Did long distance with my boyfriend for a year where we saw each other most weekends and one time he forgot his hat and I wore that thing to death. I was so sad when it stopped smelling like him

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    1. Haha thats the best! Theres seriously nothing like having a little bit of their belongs to hold onto when you are missing them most. Its definitely a journey but just taking it day by day and one day, I’ll wake up and he will be home ❀️ Thanks for reaching out and relating. Really helps not to feel so alone.

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      1. Yes for sure, it’s the best to just have something tangible to remind yourself how much they love you. Even though you know it, sometimes it’s hard to believe it or you have your doubts and hey if a hat or a shirt is all it takes to remind you that’s pretty amazing. You are definitely not alone and contrary to popular belief distance does not affect the strength of a relationship ❀

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  4. I can relate with you..
    Wearing his shirt makes us go crazy… And his smell.. His strong arms…
    And you know, I feel that guys find it cute when they see us wearing their clothes..
    I love wearing boys shirt… A feel of getting empowered and a sense that he is there with me..
    Well described… πŸ‘

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    1. Thank you so much for reaching out and being able to relate! It helps to know I am not the only one. There truly is nothing like it. You said it perfectly “a sense that he is there with me” even when he isn’t. I hope you get to be with your loved one soon ❀️

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  5. thepoetshadow

    Wearing the clothing of a loved one is an artifact of the relationship. It literally contains aspects of the relationship, temporally and spatially. Throw a pebble in a pound, you’ll see. πŸ˜‰

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  6. thepoetshadow

    Sweetheart, I have read this post over and over and over again. It makes me cry, you suck for that by the way, ( Humor ) . I wonder if you could find some time in your busy schedule to critique my writing? Love is a passion and passions consume. we are afforded decisions…hahahaha…but they only serve the passion. πŸ˜‰

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