Reintegration

What a month it has been! I know I have been absent these past few weeks but we have been having the most incredible time together. From drive in movie theaters to whole in the wall restaurants, we are having so much fun exploring our “new” state and town.

With that said, as wonderful as it is to have him back, it is quite an adjustment. The transition was one of the things I was most nervous for. And to be honest, it has not been as seamless as I would like to say it was. We definitely have had a few bumps in the road but we both are finding our rhythm and finally setting in to a routine together.

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Drive in Movie! Don’t mind the sleepy eyes, he was still a bit jet lagged ❤️

Some adjustments have been more humorous than others though. Like for the first few weeks he was back, I would jump so bad when he would come into a room when I wasn’t expecting it (he wouldn’t even be trying to scare me!) or when he would open the shower curtain to tell me something while I was showering (something we do all the time). But I had become so use to living by myself that just having him physically in the house was an unexpected adjustment. Another example would be last night. As I was rolling over in bed, my leg touched his and I seriously thought something/someone else was in my bed! I kicked him SO hard. In that moment, I forgot he was home and was so use to having the bed to myself. We laugh about it but It’ll be awhile before he lets me live that one down 🤦🏼‍♀️

For my husband, learning the house was a huge adjustment. When he left, it was still packed away in boxes. So coming back to a home he had only spent three weeks in was tough. The first week simple things like finding the silverware drawer, bath towels and cloths detergent proved to be a challenge. He was also very careful to put things back exactly how they were and not to make messes. I’m sure it felt like someone else house more than his own. But I let him know it was his home too. I set it up by myself so I did what worked for me but I was so open and ready for change. It took a few weeks but he finally got comfortable and started making things his own and rearranging. In fact, I came home one day after work to a rearranged kitchen and new pictures on the wall. Either of which were done how I would have done them or preferred but honestly it didn’t matter. I was just so happy that he was making our home his too.

Reintegration has not been easy. It takes a lot of time and we still have a long way to go. I have to remind myself daily to extend patience, understanding, love and grace towards him and the process. And he does the same for me constantly. But at the end of the day, we both are just grateful to finally be under the same roof, learning and loving on each other.

 

 

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23 thoughts on “Reintegration

  1. I thought about writing to you when I first read your post awhile back saying he was coming back soon, just to let you know it would probably be really hard! It’s hard to want to reach out to a total stranger though 🙂 so I didn’t say anything. But it’s totally normal to have a hard time and some negative emotions – even some guilt that you’re it’s not as “easy” or happy as you wanted it to be.

    And it’s totally normal and ok to have some fights etc. and just an overall “rough patch” getting through it, but if you try to stay positive, fight fair with each other, and forgive a lot, I’m sure it does get better.

    We’re not military, but have quite a few military friends who have been through deployments and returns and I’ve seen them ALL go through these same things. The best couples just weather it through together and try to not let it upset them too much that it’s a little disappointing sometimes. Also, we’re a police family (I’m a police wife), so some of the stresses are the same, but nothing like deployment.

    Praying for you, it WILL get better ❤ just don't be too hard on yourselves and forgive him every chance you can!

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words. I really appreciate you for taking the time to leave such thoughtful words. Its definitely been am adjustment but all good changes. We definitely gave the process plenty of time and had a lot of grace for each other. It was fun learning each other again and then changing as a couple. Now we look up and cant believe we ever were apart for so long! Enjoying every moment together and definitely making the most of it!

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  2. Lauren Macdonald

    The adjustment must be huge but it is a gift to your marriage if you’ll accept it as one. I can promise you, it will not be the last readjustment you have to make to each other and if you both really work hard on your honesty and communication, your grace and forgiveness, your compassion and empathy and make it your desire to always improve your marriage and build up the other person you will have developed so many skills and tools and talents that later when you need to readjust again, you’ll be professionals! God bless you both!

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    1. Thank you so much for your encouraging words! It has definitely been a process but one we are grateful for. Not every season in life is easy but it can be beautiful if you choose to see it. He has been home for three months now and we couldn’t be any more thankful. Been soaking up and enjoying every moment. Thank you again for your advice and insight!

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  3. You two are so lovely! so glad you are together again, it’s wonderful to have someone to share your life with, that is your best friend and soul mate, keep posting, love hearing how you are both doing xx

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