Holiday Anxiety

While most are excited for the holidays, I’m scared. Last year we were so sure that we would get to spend them together. Surely they wouldn’t deploy him just 8 weeks after PCS’ing… Thats what we thought at least. He ended up receiving ordered Thanksgiving week and deployed the following week. It was just a little over 3 weeks after we had moved.

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I am scared to get my hopes up that we will get to spend the holidays together. He is so confident that we will but I know nothing is for sure and that at anytime plans can change. We made the best of last year but if we are honest, it hurt more than I can put into words. I know there will be holidays that we won’t be able to spend together but I am just praying that it won’t be back to back years.

I can’t control when and where his work will take him. Trying to will only cause stress and anxiety but I can control what I do with the time we do have together. We have made so many memories and had so many adventures in the four months he’s been home. I’m just as grateful for today with him as I was the day he came home. It still hasn’t worn off and I hope it never does.

I hope with all my heart we will get Thanksgiving and Christmas together. But however the holidays turn out for us, I know it will be alright.

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