And So Our Journey begins

On By This Beautiful LifeIn Uncategorized

The Army certainly does not make trying to start a family easy! My husband was only home for 5 short days before being sent off again. He had previously been away for 6 weeks and we were hoping to get some time together, however duty called. Thankfully he’ll only be gone for a few weeks so thats a win in my book.

A close friend of mine began trying to conceive about a year ago. And she did the most. She took her temperature daily, used multiple apps, wore a fertility monitor, blood work test, tracked ovulation, scheduled sex, and more. She became consumed with tracking and the fear of not being able to get pregnant. She shared with me on how all those things contributed to so much stress, conflict and difficulty.

Her experience prompted us to discuss what we would like our process to look like. I know tracking is necessary for many couples to conceive. They are wonderful and extremely helpful tools. For some, knowing the exact day adds excitement! However, they may not be the right fit for every couple. I tend to be all or nothing with things. So I know, although it is a useful tool, if I begin tracking, especially this early, I would suck all the fun, surprise and excitement out of the experience. So, we decided that we would not track anything for at least the first 6 months. We will reevaluate in 6 months but our hope is to make and keep this one of the most fun, joy filled and memorable experiences.

He was home for less than a week and I am not going to lie, I was definitely temped to test and see if I was ovulating but I held off and we ended up having a fantastic, carefree time. I love the idea of getting to surprise him with a positive test when he gets back however, for the most part I am keeping the excitement at bay and reminding myself to just take it day by day.

32 thoughts on “And So Our Journey begins”

  1. We just recently started trying and right out of the gate I am testing, tracking, temping, and everything, but mainly because my husband just had a vasectomy reversal early this year and its going to be an uphill battle trying to get pregnant with the low sperm count etc. I keep telling myself it only takes 1 good swimmer and if I can get the conditions (timing) perfect, the chances of that one little swimmer making it are greater.

    That being said, I always used a period app that told me my fertile week and when my ovulation was.. I actually realized from tracking that my app is totally wrong. So even if you don’t take the tracking super serious or do it every month, it might be worth trying one month because you could be totally different than what your period app says. Everyone’s body chemistry and patterns are different and the unfortunate side to the generic app is it doesn’t take that into consideration. For example, I have a 29 day cycle and the app says I should ovulate on day 15. Last month I actually ovulated on day 13 and this month day 20. So big difference.

    Nonetheless, LOTS OF BABY DUST FOR YOU!! Don’t be discouraged if you do have to start tracking after 6 months. 1) I think the stress comes in when you are oversharing all of the hormonal surges and temp changes with your husband. I think it overwhelms them and they feel pressured to perform. Like they see us putting in tons of effort to test ourselves daily and they take it personal to meet our standards, like being afraid of failure I think is the root of that stress. So now I keep it to myself and just put the moves on my husband when the window is right and he blissfully engages lol 2) Even if you do share with him, you can definitely still surprise him. Just because you are planning/scheduling doesn’t mean you’ll get pregnant. So he really will be surprised, and so will you, no matter what.

    Lastly, if you do get through the 6 months without getting pregnant (which I hope isn’t the case for you) buy the ovulation strips in bulk off of Amazon. Don’t waste your time with the $20 store tests. You can literally get 50 ovulation tests and 20 pregnancy tests for $12 and it comes with an app that helps you track the ovulation tests. If you get even more serious and decide to temp, get a bluetooth basal thermometer that syncs to an app. Because you’ll want to set an alarm at the same time every day, super early in the morning, test and fall back asleep. If its bluetooth it will automatically save the results in the app. Otherwise you’ll have to stay awake, input the temp, and then go back to sleep after being on your phone. Learned this one the hard way.

    Thats all my advice I had to learn the hard way. I really hope the best for you and again, sending lots of baby dust your way!

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and insight with me! What an exciting time! How is TCC going for you and your husband? I definitely will consider tracking more seriously even if just for a month. It definitely would be helpful to learn more about my body and cycle. I really love what you said about oversharing. You hit the nail on the head with that. Tracking but keeping it to myself might me a good option for us. And thank you for your advice on amazon! Wow what a deal they have! I also really love the idea of bluetooth. I did not know that even was a thing! Thank you so much for taking the time to read, write and share extremely helpful insight and advice. Wishing you and your family the best! ❤️

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      1. I just saw this reply, face palm. We have actually moved on to IVF due to his reversal being a “failure”. Hoping we will soon get a positive from our IVF experience and I will be able to share about it 🙂

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  2. KGamez

    On a previous post you asked about helpful resources for coming off of birth control. The best thing I’ve heard of is a book by Alisa Vitti, called “Womancode.” It’s about hormone regulation, fertility, vitality, and she pays special attention to those trying to quit birth control pills. You might give it a shot if you haven’t already. Good luck!!

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  4. I think waiting 6 months is an amazing way to start. I did this as well, and our marriage was so much stronger for it. We did and do have trouble, and are now in fertility, and would have never conceived naturally, but I would never regret taking back those 6 months of joyful bliss and trying to make a baby- its such a fun time, but people have “americanized it” and everyone is always in such a rush, and the pressure we put on ourselves and bodies. The stress of having a child can way on a couple. And also if you are too stressed about the process that is hard on your body, making it harder to get pregnant. I think it is great to use an app, personally speaking I had great success with Menstrual Calender Premium (it looks like a pink calendar app- i have a android) You can try it for a while, and then the premium i think is one time $5 or something like that. I have PCOS so once I came off the pill my period was very irregular, and this app predicted my fertile window pretty accurately, again you are just tracking cycle now, but when you are tracking window– this app is right on point. I have tested it with ovulation kits, and it was always accurate, even with the fluctuation. A lot of apps are not accurate. Now that I do IUI – my fertile window and IUI usually ends up on/near my apps window. Ive been using it for almost 2years and I swear by it. Thought thatd help. Happy baby making 🙂

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    1. Thank you soooo much for sharing your experience and insight. It is so wonderful to hear someone else who started off like we are. And to know it was a positive experience. I have begun using an app. It has been a useful tool as a begin to learn my cycle and body off birth control. So far, we have managed to keep it fun and enjoyable. He’s had to travel quite a bit for work lately so we might even extend the 6 months, but we will see. Thank you again for leaving such helpful and encouraging words.

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  5. Most people try for a year before seeking any medical help. So have fun for 12 months and the likelihood of conception, if all is right with your biologies, is high. I used an app tracker to know my best days, that was the easiest and least stressful at this stage! Wishing you both the best in this journey 🙂

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    1. Thank you so much for your advice. I have started using an app. It really helps with documenting and knowing when to expect my period. We just might extend the 6 months to a year if needed. Thankfully so far, we have been keeping it fun and light.

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  12. Archit Gajjar

    Life is not easy. There are always pluses & minuses, but how we take them that matters. I think that’s the beauty of life. Bye the way you’ll have a great vacation.

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