With this deployment, I have learned that some days are better than others. Thankfully not all days are bad but not all days are not great either. Its a journey filled with many ups and downs. The easy days are treasured and the tough ones I take hour my hour but I am always grateful for making it through another day.
Unfortunately, yesterday was a rough day. Maybe one of the roughest so far for us. I have had some really days. Day that broke me, days I cried my eyes out, days I wanted to rip my hair out, days I thought steam would come out of my nose and ears 😤. And my husband has definitely had his share of tough days as well but usually the cause is a long work day or week, co workers, supervisors, things breaking, random drama and such. On those days, we turn together and vent our little hearts out until we feel better. But yesterday… we were the problem.
We were texting back and fourth and it felt like we just could not get it right. Either he was frustrating me or I was getting on his nerves. We usually communicate pretty well over text because a lot of times, thats all we’ve got. But not yesterday. We do not argue often. I can pretty much count on one hand the amount of times we have had a full out argument. I am grateful for the way he handles conflict. He never raises his voice or speaks out of anger and somehow manages to maintain a level head. I continue to learn so much from him. With that said, we aren’t perfect. We irritate each other, push each others buttons and have disagreements. And yesterday were all those things combined.
After a full day of just not clicking, he finally called. Usually my heart skips a beat when I see his name pop up on my phone but not yesterday. I was nervous. The last thing I wanted to do was argue but I was not sure how it all would play out. I answered and we talked about our days and other random stuff then he said “So we going to talk about it?” And with that, we began talking. We resolved all tension shortly after and even laughed about how off our communication had been that day and how much we annoyed each other. We realized in that moment that it was just the distance/deployment getting to us.
Deployments, separation, distance is tough and if you let it, it will pull you apart from the ones you love most… but don’t let it. Your relationship does not have to suffer just because you are physically apart. We almost let it get to us, but I am grateful we were able to see the true cause. We were just missing each other and ready to under the same roof. That night, we ended our call with “See you soon.” He still won’t be home for awhile but those words brought along so much comfort and were exactly what we both needed to hear.