When The Distance Gets To You

With this deployment, I have learned that some days are better than others. Thankfully not all days are bad but not all days are not great either. Its a journey filled with many ups and downs. The easy days are treasured and the tough ones I take hour my hour but I am always grateful for making it through another day.

Unfortunately, yesterday was a rough day. Maybe one of the roughest so far for us. I have had some really days. Day that broke me, days I cried my eyes out, days I wanted to rip my hair out, days I thought steam would come out of my nose and ears 😤. And my husband has definitely had his share of tough days as well but usually the cause is a long work day or week, co workers, supervisors, things breaking, random drama and such. On those days, we turn together and vent our little hearts out until we feel better. But yesterday… we were the problem.

We were texting back and fourth and it felt like we just could not get it right. Either he was frustrating me or I was getting on his nerves. We usually communicate pretty well over text because a lot of times, thats all we’ve got. But not yesterday. We do not argue often. I can pretty much count on one hand the amount of times we have had a full out argument. I am grateful for the way he handles conflict. He never raises his voice or speaks out of anger and somehow manages to maintain a level head. I continue to learn so much from him. With that said, we aren’t perfect. We irritate each other, push each others buttons and have disagreements. And yesterday were all those things combined.

After a full day of just not clicking, he finally called. Usually my heart skips a beat when I see his name pop up on my phone but not yesterday. I was nervous. The last thing I wanted to do was argue but I was not sure how it all would play out. I answered and we talked about our days and other random stuff then he said “So we going to talk about it?” And with that, we began talking. We resolved all tension shortly after and even laughed about how off our communication had been that day and how much we annoyed each other. We realized in that moment that it was just the distance/deployment getting to us.

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Deployments, separation, distance is tough and if you let it, it will pull you apart from the ones you love most… but don’t let it. Your relationship does not have to suffer just because you are physically apart. We almost let it get to us, but I am grateful we were able to see the true cause. We were just missing each other and ready to under the same roof. That night, we ended our call with “See you soon.” He still won’t be home for awhile but those words brought along so much comfort and were exactly what we both needed to hear.

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47 thoughts on “When The Distance Gets To You

  1. It sounds as though you and your husband are building a very strong relationship. You are able to talk things through without yelling and arguing. Kudos to both of you for doing so. That is such an important part talking to and hearing each other. Respecting each other. So glad you ended with a ‘see you soon’ and all the love you said to one another. You have a beautiful relationship you should be very proud of.

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    1. That certainly is what we are trying to do. Him, our marriage and relationship are some of the most important things in my life. I treasure them and him dearly. Positive communication, especially when dealing with distance, has been something we have been very intentional about. No one likes arguing with loved ones but goodness are arguments 10x worse when they are physically far away. Just a few more months and he will be home. Thank you for reading and for your kind words of encouragement.

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  2. How far out are you again from the end of the deployment? I’m sorry…I know distance can be hard. Gosh, we can have bad days even together but the distance really opens things up for miscommunication and “not clicking” as you put it. Hang in there 💗

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I appreciate your openness about your relationship and the challenges you have; normal challenges plus those unique to the physical distance you face. Kudos for staying present to and aware of the emotions and being able to talk it through. May you both continue to treat each other with such lovely respect.

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    1. Wow, thank you. You have no idea how greatly your words have impacted and encouraged me. One of my main goals, hopes and intentions for this blog is to be as open and honestly as possible and to hopefully inspire and encourage others going through similar things. Thank you again!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Beautiful picture!

    Father, I pray for this couple. Comfort their hearts! There’s distance between them, but there’s absolutely no distance between Your love, and their hearts! In Jesus’ name, Amen!

    Blessings my sister!

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    1. Yes! It definitely can be! Its tough at times but when its all you’ve got, we try and make the best of it and be grateful for it. Last year for 4 months, our only form of communication was hand written letters. Now THAT was tough.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thats an interesting perspective. I cant speak for all people but as tough as this experience is, I have peace that we walking in Gods guidance and will for us. My husband tried to deny God calling him to the military for years. We prayed hard about it. It was one of the greatest leaps of faith we both have ever taken. It tears some apart and military isn’t for everyone but God has been faithful to us. Though we are physically apart, he has strengthened out marriage, love, respect and appreciation for each other. He also has brought us closer to Him. There are times I question our decision but then I see how happy/fulfilled my husband is and how faithful God has been to us and thats enough for me.

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  5. A Woman of a Certain Age

    You are on the right track. It’s a wonderful connection you have with your husband. Life is hard…anything that makes it better is a gift. You are a warrior angel.❤️

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  6. Hi! New reader here. I know every couple has moments like these. It sucks that your husband is currently deployed though. I think that adds a bit more to the stress in that situation. But it says a lot that y’all were able to notice the issue. You were able to address it and talk it out even when he wasn’t your favorite person at that moment. And I think that says a lot about your relationship.

    Sending you some good vibes girl! And here’s to you having him home soon. 🙂

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    1. Hiiii!!! Welcome!!! Thank you so much for stopping by and reading! Yes, you nailed it. The distance on top of stress and other things definitely all added up and had potential to end pretty badly. I am so grateful that we were able to revolve it before it got any bigger. Especially with him being so far away. All arguments are miserable but its even harder when you cant hug to make up. Thankfully he comes home in July. So just need to keep hanging in there and taking it day by day. Thank you for the encouragement. I really appreciate!

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  7. So understandable … being away from each other for so long is not an easy task but it seems like you two have it together and can agree how hard it is and work through it . This shows commitment , maturity , and of all love . You got this ❤️

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  8. Padre Paulie

    The distance of deployments and the limited availability of communication modes can truly be frustrating. Thankfully, you were able to talk through the situation and return to your state of balance. Keep your lines of communication open! If you find yourselves becoming frustrated or the conversation just isn’t flowing well, simply step away and try again later always leaving the conversation with “I Love You!”

    That’s my two pence spoken from experiencing the downfall of my marriage from the distance of deployment and the breakdown of meaningful communication.

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    1. Thank you for that advice! I truly appreciate it. Yes, somethings stepping away is the best thing. It saves hurtful things from being said. We have found we have to be extremely intentional with communication, especially in times of separation. Looking forward to when he’s home and we won’t have to rely on text or calls.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. souledevery

    I’m currently in a long distance relationship and after married still we are far away. Having a little son who needs his father’s love and attention, it is painful that I’m not by their side when they need me. In this situation, there is only one that can take care of them : God. Always pray, have faith and remember not all days are dark. God bless you!

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    1. Thank you for reaching out to me and sharing your experiences with distance. I can only imagine how tough that must be. We too will have to deal with that difficulty once we have children. Yes, God most definitely can and will protect and help. So grateful for His presence and love. Blessings to you and your family as well!

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  10. shannonstedman

    I too appreciate my husband’s level head during conflict. I learn a lot from him too. I can’t imagine being apart for so long like you are experiencing. Praying for you both! I hope he comes home soon!

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