Today makes 10 days since we said our goodbye. (Note: He did not leave for his deployment 10 days ago. I left for home then and thats when we said our final goodbyes but I will not say his exact day due to OPSEC.) The goodbye itself was extremely tough but I am so proud of myself for keeping it together until our final hug. When he left for basic, I cried the week before, I cried overtime I thought about it, every time we talked about it, every time he started packing. I cried the night before, I woke up crying. I starting balling when we pulled up to the recruitment center where we were dropping he him. I remember trying soooo hard not to cry or to stop crying but no matter what I did, I couldn’t. This time though, we managed to have an incredibly fun last weekend together, went out to our favorite restaurant, watched our favorite movie, somehow managed to keep the mood light and fun. The morning of was a little more tense and awkward but still not too bad. We both did not want to talk about what was about to happen so instead we just made awkward conversation. We put off the goodbye as long as we could but when the time finally came, we both had tears in our eyes. Right after, I left for the airport to head home.
It’s been tough adjusting to our separation around so much family. Usually after a goodbye, I take time by myself, mope around for the weekend, throw myself a petty party, eat whatever I want, burst into random and unexplained fits of tears. Then on day three I pick myself up, pull it together and handle my business. However, it’s been different going through that process while home. I have not been able to get much alone time. From sharing a room with my sister to always having family around, its been tough to finding time to process everything. Its slowly beginning to sink in but I do not think it will fully hit me until I am back in our home.
I am grateful that we have had some communication everyday so far. I know it is rare and I make sure not to take it for granted. Whether text, call or email, it brightens my whole day every single time.